Correcting our children or pupils or employees is something which can be described as a necessary evil. You don't just catch someone committing a mistake, accost him or her and punish him or her. The task has to be performed very carefully keeping in view several important factors. Above all we must first determine what the purpose of our action is — whether to merely punish a wrong doer or to amend him and to help him to develop. If the corrective action is not done properly it may turn out to be counter productive. Psychologists and educationists have indicated some guidelines which can be applied usefully in this difficult but important matter.
Detesting the action, not the person
The most important thing to remember is that the process of correction should at all times target the action and not the person. Supposing a child has stolen a pen from another child in the class. The teacher may do well in avoiding a statement like, "Jeevan, you have stolen the pen from Hema's bag? You are a thief!" Instead the teacher can think of using a slightly different wording. "Jeevan, you have taken the pen from Hema's bag. It's wrong. Don't you know? I never expected you to do a thing like that!" The whole idea is to make the child feel that the teacher does not dislike him. She dislikes only his act. This may appear to be a very elementary thing. It may even be described as play on words? But psychologically it makes a big difference.
Let us consider an office situation. The boss says, "What is this? Such a lot of mistakes in the statement? What a messy fellow you are!". If only the boss could say, "What a messy job this is!" Would it not make a world of difference!
Be specific
Another thing to remember is that when reprimanding people we should be specific. Generalised complaints and vague comments of dissatisfaction are not of much help. Supposing a boss says, "I am not at all happy with your work Dinesh. I don't know why things are in such a bad shape." Dinesh may start wondering what it is that the boss is unhappy about.  Similar things can happen if a child is reprimanded vaguely. If a parent or an elder says, "Rohan I don't like you. You are a bad boy," what does it mean? In what way is Rohan a bad boy? Not doing his homework? Not, getting up early in the mornings? Not eating his food properly or in time?
Let us see how we can specify deficiencies and make a totally different kind of observation. The boss can say, "Dinesh your monthly report for July was not up to the mark. There were many omissions in it. You must pay more attention to these reports." Rohan's mother could say, "Rohan, you are troubling Babli all the time. She's your younger sister. You mustn't trouble her. You should be helpful to her." In these instances the person knows exactly what is bothering the other person. This is not really a simple matter. Quite often people not only generalise but also refuse to clarify matters when the other person seeks clarification. When scolded vaguely an employee may ask, "Why sir, what is it that is making you unhappy about my work?” The Boss may say something like, "Well, I don't know Jacob, but if you carry on like this I don't know what I will do. I can only say that I am receiving many complaints". So saying the Boss will move away from the scene and will not be available for further clarification of his allegation.
Be brief
A third requirement of constructive criticism is brevity. We should learn to say what it is that we don't like in someone's work, ask him to improve it and be done with it. That's all. Continuously grumbling about a matter and rubbing it in all the time will never help in correcting the person. Any criticism, reprimand, complaint should be short and to the point. "Shanti, you have not kept the files in proper order. It is very difficult to pick a file in this condition. Please see that everything is spic and span". And that should be the end of the matter.
Timing
Timing the correction means trying to effect the correction at the right time i.e., at the time the fault or wrong is committed. If a superior noticing a fault on the part of his ward keeps mum for the time being, for whatever reason, and rakes up the matter at a later date, it may create an awkward situation, especially if the child has forgotten the incident.
Respecting the self-image of the offender
It is a common and well-known principle that we should not scold a person in the presence of other persons, especially his colleagues or subordinates. In the heat of the moment the superior reprimands the subordinate in the presence of his colleagues or subordinates. This is likely to hurt the ego of the person sought to be corrected and spoil the chances of making him appreciate the spirit of the correction. When someone's ego is hurt in this manner he is likely to become stubborn and resent all efforts for correction.
Avoid sarcasm
Sarcasm is the weapon of the coward. It creates bad blood. It is quite likely to humiliate the person and defeat the very purpose of correction. Instead of helping a person to understand his fault  it may create a bitter feeling in him and develop a feeling of vengeance. It is better to talk straight while correcting persons.
Conclusion
If correction is effected with the utmost objectivity and the avowed purpose of improving the person, rather than punishing him, the person is likely to imbibe the correct message and respond positively. This takes us to an important point viz., the necessity for the person charged with the duty of correcting others to play his part dispassionately, keeping his own ego out of the picture to the extent possible and bearing in mind the eternal truth that all of us are prone to make mistakes.
The gentle ways discussed here are expected to work because they take into account the built in resistance people may have within themselves against advice and correction. However, there may be people who may not respond to the best of efforts. In such cases it may be necessary to put the foot down and adopt tougher methods. In fact if soft methods are continued to be used for persons who do not respond to them then they will surely tend to become incorrigible in due course of time. But the main point that is submitted here is that gentle methods may prevent people from being incorrigible and stubborn. In fact the failure to treat mistakes and wrong doings with abundant understanding is itself the cause of stubbornness in many people.