I had once heard, many years ago, that retirement for men is like menopause for women and is one of the three inevitables in life: Taxes, death and retirement! Taxes, I pay regularly; of my own death, I know nothing except its certainty; but retirement I am told, comes as a shock to most people!

Having applied for premature retirement, I was mentally prepared for the R-Day. That last day, 12 years ago was enjoyable, with garlands, jai and send-off, but its after-effects start the next day!

The first shock arrives: the sentry at the army unit where I wish to go for a walk, asks for identity proof. Show him the retired officer's one; he tells you politely that it is a security zone and that civilians are not allowed inside! You tell him you are going to the canteen. “Sign the visitors’ book and return by the same gate to sign-out!”

When you produce your credit card, the reply is prompt: No credit cards from retired personnel! There are even separate queues for the uniformed and those without!

The Canteen Stores Department is closed on Mondays; so you look for another excuse: to the Doctor! That place is egalitarian: common queue for everyone; so you wait and wait, till beyond lunch time!
Another day, you go for payment-rations: "Get a fresh retired persons' card made". Two trips to station headquarters for the order; stand clutching it in a “civilians and retired” queue: not entitled to buy kerosene; sugar quota for retired personnel is out of stock! You see people in the other queue getting everything!  I am told by my “lucky” friends with wives that they are “go-getters” now; because their wives tell them many times a day: “go, get this or that!”

Our Union Defence Minister, however, has re-christened us Poorva Senani or Armed Forces Veterans (AFV). I had learnt 46 years ago that AFV was armored fighting vehicle! My e-group-mates now feel we call ourselves “Emeritus”, as in “Brigadier (Emeritus) Suryanarayanan”. Sounds grand !
The only light at the end of the retirement-tunnel is my infant-grand-daughter, who jumps with joy on hearing me whistle her name and shouts a full-throated thatha!

It is then I realise most of us did not have time for our children while in service; retirement is worth it after all !