What have Shah Rukh Khan, Big Bazaar and Mission Impossible 3 got to do with Deepavali? Apparently, a lot more than diyas, rangoli and Lakshmi pujan. Like it or lump it, truth is that more middle class Indians are going to be spending time with the former than the latter this year on Deepavali — or rather the more universal Diwali — weekend.

Ask Bareilly’s 20-year-old BBA student Neetu Sandhu with the kohl-rimmed eyes and 1000 watt smile, what she is looking forward to the most on Diwali and she doesn’t bat an eyelid before retorting, “The release of Om Shanti Om. I have to check out SRK’s new look”. In Dehradun, housewife Shanti Rawat is looking at exchange offers on refrigerators so that she can bring home a frost free 375 litres home in lieu of her aging Godrej. “I have been putting up with its on-now, off-now cooling for almost

a year. On Diwali I’ll definitely get a good deal,” she says. And Manendra Singh, Delhi executive with the snazzy Ray Bans and swank new set of wheels, is planning to drive down home to his parents in the hills of Garhwal. Before you get all misty eyed, it is only so that he can switch his cell off and spend the weekend with a glass of beer watching HBO channel’s Diwali blockbusters, Mission Impossible 3 included.

Are you shocked and scandalised and choking over your chai? Don’t be! Did you just say that Diwali marks the victory of good over evil, dharma over adarma and the arrival of Shri Ram Chandra back in Ayodhya after vanquishing the 10-headed Ravana?

Well, yawn, we all know that and that’s what we celebrated once upon a time. We lit ghee ka diyas in front of Lakshmi-Ganesh idols, stringed mango leaves with yellow marigold flowers to hang over doorways and dipped our hands — tightly rolled into fists — in wet rice powder to stamp Lakshmiji ke pair all the way from the driveway up the stairs to the puja room. We wore crisp new kurta-pyjamas and saris, weaved mogra flowers in our plaits and piled up rasgullas and chenna murki in glass bowls to serve friends who would drop in (also in their new clothes) to say ‘Happy Diwali’.

Celebrations have now taken a 360 degrees turn. Chinese-made electric lights have replaced candles and diyas. Tolberone chocolates change hands almost as frequently as traditional mithai, kheer-batashe are conspicuous by their absence, clothes shopping often means picking out the latest skin tight denims from Levis, and if we do meet friends or family it is more likely over a glass of bubbly and tandoori chicken discussing the killer buys we made at the Mall.

From a festival of lights, Diwali has now become a festival of retail, the traditionalists can go eat, well actually, Black Forest Pastry! If you look at it from a strictly secular point of view, there is almost no difference between Diwali and Christmas. Both are marked by the same sales on every corner shop, lights and buntings stringed up across main roads, loud music and a bombastic air of  “We’ve got it, so we shall spend it”. The new age Indian has acquired a lot of spending power, and Diwali is one more occasion to show off this freshly found strength. But naturally, retailers are making the most of it. Offers are flooding the combined market space of the country with an almost socialist disregard for big city or small.

Lucknow’s Amar Motors is running Diwali Offers on the Innova E and LX, offering discounts upto Rs 25672. Bangalore’s Lifestyle is making a festive offer where those shopping for Rs 2,500 and above are eligible for the bumper prize — a Ford Fiesta. HomeShop 18 is ready to help you send gifts — ranging from packaged sweets and jewellery to microwaves — anywhere across 1,600 cities across India.

Even Microsoft is rolling out three exclusive offers to gamers all over India at Ezone, and Big Bazaar stores in a bid to push Xbox 360 sales where you can save upto Rs 24,000 on deals, are luring customers like never before. Online shopping is expected to skyrocket by 130 per cent around Diwali and not to be left behind, HBO, the 24-hour English movie channel, has prepared a package of Hollywood blockbusters for broadcast during the festival season in the Sub-continent.

There are of course the middle class, middle aged, caught between the two worlds, who dabble in a bit of both — tradition and retail. A little rangoli, a little shopping, puja with sweets bought from the best place in town and maybe an evening drink with some close friends. They are the ones who are keeping culture alive by passing down to their growing kids the traditional ways of celebrating Diwali.

Then there are the lucky few still living in the smaller cities where they get the chance to take their children to Diwali melas, buy them shining pink and yellow bow and arrows made from glitter paper and show them jhankis of a victorious Shri Ram flanked by Sita and Lakshman coming back in Ravana’s flying chariot.

For all this effort, we wish them a very happy Diwali. For the rest, lost in the retail revolution, who are checking out malls and pubs for the best offers and happily extending their Rs 1000 shopping budgets to Rs 2,500 so that they can enter the Ford Fiesta lucky draw, may Shri Ram be with you too. In your case, it should just suffice to say: Happy Diwala!