Watch that impatient queue which forms in those fidgeting minutes before the ground staff give the green signal to board a Trans Atlantic flight, and you will spot them. They come neatly packaged in saris or the more convenient, and for many, only recently adopted, salwar kameez. Some have excitement written all over their face, others wear a bored look of déjà vu. Their hand baggage is heavy, speaking evocatively of lovingly made sambar powder and mango achaar, theplas and chaklis. Yes indeed, they are the grandmothers, off on Mission Baby Sitting.
Whether the trip is to bring in an ‘American’ bundle of joy or to relieve another grandparent who has exhausted US hospitality on a visitor visa, they are a Godsend for modern India’s famous H, L and Green card holders. Many successful female careers have floundered without this support. Childcare is costly and work from home options, gold dust. But in comes the grandmother with the magic hand and hey presto maternity, indeed is a walk in the park.
While her earlier avatar brought the daughter back home to pamper during pregnancy, the modern grandmother bravely sails into the progeny’s domain to play an omnipotent role. The kitchen and the crib are handled with equal ease. Mother and child are provided improvised therapeutic baths, literally, on the tap. And delayed pediatrician appointments are overcome with well-tested home remedies.
If it is spring or summer, the grandmother’s overseas stay is indeed pleasant. Suburban America sees many of them take an afternoon constitutional in newly minted sports shoes. Weekends see them in the neighbourhood Indian watering holes — be it Bridgewater, Queens or Maryland. Winters are tougher and it is to Indian TV channels and soap operas that many a grateful son-in-law turns, to keep them entertained.
The country of course is only incidental. Grandmothers are an invaluable part of the maternity journey anywhere in the world.
For working women, the role a grandmother plays in their seamless re-entry into the workplace, after the maternity hiatus is indeed special. Her presence at home means no last minute ‘leave’ if an errant maid does not show up or apologetic calls to the day-care centre to keep the toddler a half-hour extra while the professional participates in an important conference call. It means said executive returns home with a spring in her step to the fragrant aroma of a home-cooked meal or at least a hot cup of coffee.
Yes indeed, behind every successful working woman, is a hardworking grandmother. And as yet another International Women’s Day rolls by, celebrations are on in corporate offices, panelists hold forth on daises, and kudos are paid on reams of newsprint to the ‘Double-U-O-Man’ Woman, let us raise a toast to this unobtrusive, ubiquitous pillar of strength.