Why do women speak less?

Baby girls tend to speak earlier and use more complex language than boys of the same age. Likewise, little girls tend to be more garrulous than their brothers. In many cultures, women are presumed to chat and gossip more than men. The children’s ditty that goes, “Mummies on the bus go yakity-yak” exemplifies this cultural stereotype. Fields like the social sciences and humanities, which require strong verbal skills, attract more women than men. Whether these differences are due to biological or sociocultural factors or a combination is not the point of this article.

Rather, given that women seem to have a flair for words, why do they speak less than men in learning and professional contexts? Two recent studies, in different contexts, suggest that women’s voices are not heard as much as men's.

In a blog post by the British Psychological Society, Matthew Warren describes research conducted by Shoshana Jarvis and colleagues that examined gender differences in asking questions at an interdisciplinary academic conference. While men constituted 63% of the audience, men asked 78% of the questions. Men also spoke for 3.5 times longer than women. In another study, the researchers surveyed men and women at a psychology conference. Women admitted to feeling more anxious and “less comfortable asking questions and expressing opinions” compared to men.

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An article in The Harvard Gazette describes a study by researchers at the Massachusetts General Hospital and Brigham and Women’s Hospital that indicates that “male and female physicians may assert themselves differently in academic settings.” The differences were more pronounced in large, in-person classes, whereas in smaller or virtual settings, women were more likely to speak and ask questions. As many higher-education classes allocate a percentage of the grade to class participation, women students seem to be at a disadvantage.

These studies suggest that classrooms and workplaces, including conferences, are still highly gendered spaces. But what are the ground realities in India? A senior professional with over two decades of experience in the corporate section, who wishes to remain anonymous, avers that women are not listened to as much as men. She adds that male colleagues also engage in 'mansplaining' when responding to women’s comments. Besides adopting a condescending tone, some men assume that women require more explanation.

On a cheerier note, Piya Bose, Senior Manager, Talent Transformation, Wipro Consumer Care, has noticed a gradual shift over the last two decades. She finds that the younger crop of women is more assertive and less likely to hold back, even if they are only interns in an organisation.

What inhibits them?

While we may exhort women to speak up and assert themselves, we also need to examine what factors are inhibiting women from participating as much as men. Are those in power, whether bosses or professors, signalling, even unconsciously, that male voices are more privileged? Further, does the classroom or conference hall or boardroom dynamic favour men? Do students and employees listen more attentively when men speak up? Are women more likely to be interrupted, contradicted or put down?

In an article in Time magazine, Deborah Tannen examines the reasons why women are quieter when it matters. Not wanting to be perceived as dominant, women in formal meetings, tend to talk in lower voices and be as concise as possible. As Tannen states, women get caught in a “double bind.” If they talk more, they are seen as aggressive and receive “damning labels” for being over-ambitious. If they hold back, their very competence is questioned.

Additionally, when women are interrupted, they tend to stop speaking as opposed to men, who continue to hold court. Because of this tendency to listen to the interrupter, women are more likely to be interrupted by those who are itching to make a comment. According to the senior professional mentioned above, one takeaway for women is not to yield every time you are interrupted but to pause and plough on because what you have to say is significant.

Bose also recommends mentorship programmes where new recruits are guided to communicate confidently and crisply by more seasoned colleagues. And, to all the men out there, be more mindful of interrupting another speaker. Give your full attention to what a person is saying instead of planning your rebuttal. Just as women may be nudged to speak up, men may be coaxed to listen up.