Homemaker extraordinaire

Homemakers are of many types. My cousin’s wife, Shweta, is a perpetual busy-body, as active as an agile mercury, a jet-setter and a go-getter.

I once asked her, “Shweta, have you ever worked as a salaried employee in a corporate office?” Pat came her reply, “No, soon after my early marriage, I had Inchara, and from then onwards, it’s been a hectic roller-coaster ride! Yes, though not officially designated, it’s the Home Minister’s portfolio for me!”

“It sure has been,” I reasoned, “for you are so proficient in your household duties that you could well put a seasoned Home Minister to shame! Though you have never worked in an office, you could well have been the HRD’s favourite for fulfilling employee appraisals positively.”

“Okay, writer, do give me the low-down of my potential employee titles,” giggled Shweta. “Well, first of all, you could be a Chief Financial Officer because though you have a surfeit of finances at your disposal, you choose to be careful and use money judiciously. Like a P Chidambaram-in-the-making, you adroitly balance budgets, saving and purchase, credit and debit. You pay for the electricity, maintenance, smart phone, internet, gas, all in timely fashion, thereby avoiding complaints.”

“Next, you can be a good Public Relations’ Officer. You know how to deal with a litany of relatives, guests, visitors and friends, without rubbing anyone the wrong way. You are kind and diplomatic and always wear your beautiful magical smile and never lose your cool even though there are a hundred things badgering your nerves.”

“Not only are you good in public relations with the privileged, but you also know how to handle blue-collar workers, like drivers, maids, technicians, plumbers and carpenters. So, you can be a Chief Supervisor and can give any of the supervisors a run for their money. You fit the bill as you are observant, intuitive and sharp and see that the work gets done competently. Though you are quick to berate lackadaisical work, you are also the first to applaud work which is done conscientiously and well.”

“Since you are so adept at public relations, you would also make an astute Wedding Planner for your burgeoning nephews and nieces by delegating work adroitly and co-ordinating duties to hospitality in-charge and chefs. This is because your knowledge of food and hospitality is humongous.

“Next, since you get along well with youngsters, you can also be an Educational Advisor and Teacher rolled into one. You are not only aware of what goes on in Inchara’s school, but you are also conversant with the latest modern teaching methodology for knowledge internalisation. I have seen Inchara brainstorming and bombarding you with queries which you resolve practically like a seasoned teacher. What a versatile all-rounder, you are, Shweta! You are like the perfect employee!” I exclaimed proudly.

Just then who should arrive but my cousin, Amaresh (her husband). He was talking on his phone, “Yes, that’s right, Shweta is my wife. You ask whether she’s working? No, no...she’s just a homemaker, she’s not working.” Ouch!