Balancing Act Your child needs to cross a delicate hanging bridge between effort and achievement, writes Felicity Gibson. At the end of this past academic year, the achievement of two of our students worried me.
I was puzzled by their lack of motivation and productivity. Delving into these two case studies I had to ask myself the question. “Why this underachievement?” These High School students are bright boys and they have no special reasons to underachieve.
Underachievers are students that have a significant gap between their ability and what they actually produce and achieve in school. These are the students teachers label as, “Could do better.” For a variety of reasons, these students continue to do less than they are capable of. They are usually bright students with good verbal ability.
Indicators of underachievement are usually the same in all cases: unfinished or missing school work, disorganisation – especially the inability to record homework in a diary. Disinterest in a subject and continually asking questions like, “What is the use of Geography?” (Or whatever the subject) Excuses, excuses and always blaming someone else or something else for their problems. Some students become immersed in learning of their own choice and might read continuously on a particular subject or escape on to the computer rather than finish their homework or assigned work.
Into this equation come two sides. The school and the home. From the school point of view, many factors can be considered. Peer pressure, the lack of challenge, conflict with teachers, too much or too little competition, or even a move to a more challenging or less challenging school. On the other hand there is the home point of view.
There might be over protectiveness, rivalry with siblings, conflict between parents in the expectations for the child, too much empowerment, too much or too little attention – the parents might be working and find it difficult to encourage the child. Finally, parent’s over-emphasis on work and the feelings of pressure this may cause should be considered too.
Underachievement is very often a combination of both school and home influences.
Over-dependence
Parents try very hard at parenting and frequently make the mistake of destroying parental leadership. Parents want their children to be independent - it is natural. At times their efforts can end with a case of unusual dependence or on the other hand, over-dominance. These patterns of over-dependence or over-dominance feel natural to the child. Parents think that when the child starts school, these feelings will disappear.
However, over-dependent and over-dominant children practise these behaviours at home for many years and feel comfortable within these patterns of behaviour. These two behaviours interfere with how a child approaches achievement through effort even at school.
Over-dependence is often manifested as passivity, insecurity or immaturity. Dependent underachievers ask for more help than they require. They may insist that parents sit with them and watch them whilst they work. They feel secure in this situation. The dominant underachievers are more forward in arguing about why they should have to do their work. They will have a thousand excuses why the work does not have to be done at that moment.
They tend to blame parents and teachers and the lack of organisation for the mess they find themselves in. Out of this mess, they pick what work they enjoy and leave out what they do not enjoy. The work they pick will be achieved without effort – it will be easily achieved. The child will not know the pleasure of achievement through effort.
Parental leadership
So how can the school and parents help these students break out of the cycle of underachievement? Parents need to encourage a more positive attitude and constructive behaviour from the child. High expectations will become internalized by the child. However parents need to be realistic with their children and share positive models of achievement.
Parents need to model hard work and the satisfaction of completing the same. If parents constantly complain about their lives and their own hard work, they are not good role models. Children need the balance of hearing about the satisfaction of achievement through hard work.
Parents need to talk about school and teachers in a positive way. Respect for a teacher needs to come from a parent. Children will avoid working for a teacher if their parent does not respect that particular teacher. School and parents need to talk about the situation frequently and use encouragement and positive, realistic goals to remedy the situation.
Underachievers are often picky about which teacher’s work they do not do – maybe for some reason they do not respect that teacher. Parents need to be interested in their children’s work. They need to talk about it and look at completed work with interest. However, parents should not sit with their children when they study. The child becomes over dependent on the parent, till eventually, if the parent is absent, the child cannot study.
*Organising and goal-setting
*Underachievement and disorganization come hand in hand. Organise your child, with the help of the school, to enable success to take place.
*Be consistent with setting goals and make the goals achievable.
*Discuss effort, problem solving strategies and ways of dealing with failure.
*Avoid the ‘mystery’ of failure which emphasizes success by luck and without effort.
Children who give up after minimal effort have little or no confidence in their abilities to be successful. Confidence is acquired through achievement. Your children need your support and parents need to have reasonable expectations of achievement.
Under-challenged
Reasons for underachievement may stem from schools as well. Some teachers have unreasonable standards while others have low expectations. Either way underachievement can result.
Some teachers are too strict or repressive and lack patience with students when they ask difficult questions. This type of classroom situation turns students off school. At times the conforming nature of the school setting, dull curriculum, days and weeks spent on preparing for tests, and inflexibility in scheduling can lead to underachievement. Students need to be appropriately challenged in order to achieve.
No pain, no gain
For underachievers, report card time is a reminders to them that they are “not good enough.” They feel ashamed, frustrated and helpless. Parents too, feel dreadful that they are unable to change their child’s attitude towards school and work.
It is a long, complex process which needs to be unravelled. The message needs to be conveyed to the child that success comes through effort. The more effort you put into something the more successful you are. There is no mystery to that. However effort needs to be appreciated by parents and the school. We need to praise effort and enable achievement.
Underachievers deny themselves the opportunity to build confidence, because they avoid facing the relationship between process and outcome, or between effort and achievement. Bridging the gap between hardwork and success rests upon the educators - both parents and teachers.