Dear Ma'am,
I have gotten into the unhealthy habit of snacking when I am stressed about an exam. I worry that I am ruining my health. How do I get out of the habit?
Pavana
Dear Pavana,
It is important to understand what you are stressed about because stress does not happen in the environment. Stress happens within you, in how you interpret what is happening in your life, or around you. Stress is the body’s response when something is perceived as ‘danger’. Speak to a counsellor and understand how to handle your stress better because long-term unresolved stress is not helpful. Also, if you snack when you are stressed, then surround yourself with healthy snacks like fruits, nuts and seeds, and don’t keep junk stuff around. But more importantly, learn to reduce your stress, because that is an important life skill.
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Dear Ma'am,
I have not done well in my CET examinations but had told my parents that I had. After the results came out, the situation in my house worsened. I am interested in designing and will get a seat in architecture. How do I start a conversation with my parents regarding this?
SR
Dear SR,
You may not have done well in the CET exam, but that does not mean you will not do well in other things, or at other times. Designing and architecture are as legitimate a line of study and career as engineering. Why do you believe that it is going to be hard to ‘sell’ that to your parents? Please believe in yourself and recognise that your parents have your best interest in mind. Their goal will be for you to do well in whichever space you choose. They were probably set on engineering because that is something they know and are familiar with. You can always expand their mind on it.
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Dear Ma'am,
I joined my commerce degree with a great interest in business, but I lost motivation halfway through. I don't know why so I am not able to fix it. I have to force myself to go to college. How can I zero in on the issue and fix it?
Mangala
Dear Mangala,
The past two years and all that came with them, have had different types of impacts on everyone’s mental health. I think it will be helpful for you to reach out to a counsellor and talk through what you are experiencing. It will help you gain insight and make some changes. All the best.
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Dear Ma'am,
I have been going to an IIT coaching class for two years now. It leaves little time to myself as immediately after school, I rush to attend the exam preparation course. In the past, I had an interest in football and had enough headspace to concentrate after playing. All my friends are going to these classes and I don't know if it is the right decision to drop out. How do I decide what is better for me?
Aakash
Dear Aakash,
It is important to make time for things other than studying as well. If you think you function better after playing, by all means do that. Just because your friends are doing something in a particular way does not mean you have to do it the same way. Exercise and physical activity are very important for your physical and mental health.
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Dear Madam,
I am in Class 7. I have a friend in my class who I feel uses me when she needs me and dumps me when she doesn't. My mom told me she is a bad influence on me, but I continued to be with her. Now also when she comes to me again after breaking up, I can't take a firm stand and not fall into her tricks. I become friends with her again and suffer again. How do I get out of this trap?
Jahnavi
Dear Jahnavi,
In all relationships, including friendships, it is very important to know your own worth and to be able to draw your own boundaries. My suspicion is that you feel you are not good enough and therefore, the moment she looks your way, you feel better about yourself and go to her, and the same pattern repeats itself. It is important for you to believe in yourself and your worth. I suggest you talk to a counsellor who will help you start believing in yourself and understand why you do what you do. All the best.
(The columnist is an MBA graduate with a specialisation in counselling.)
Send in your questions to us at dheducation@deccanherald.co.in, with ‘Ask Your Counsellor’ in the subject line.