Dear Saheli,
My sister is marrying my ex-boyfriend. I don’t mind, we broke up a long time ago. My sister and I don’t get along too well. Do you think I should go to the wedding?
Sister of the Bride
Dear Sister of the Bride,
How ex-citing for your sister. Why don’t you have a frank conversation with her? Ask her if she’d like for you to attend the wedding. It’s her day, don’t make it your cri-sis. Going forward, as long as you don’t make your ex her ex, all should be well. After all, you are all adults now, for better or for worse.
Hello Saheli,
I am a 27-year-old girl. In college, I had fallen in love with my professor. We spent two years together during college and one year after, unofficially. She is 11 years older than me. She is currently married and has a kid. Now, it is time for me to get married but the thought of her still keeps lingering within me. I think I’m over her but scared to take the next step with a guy because she was the only serious relationship I have ever been in. Please advise me to overcome this barrier so that my 30’s and the rest of my life is free of her.
Tarn
Hello Tarn,
It seems like you did a good course where your professor even gave you a lesson in heartbreak. She seems to have moved on and clearly, it is time for you to do so too. Love cannot always be flushed away. Let it snuggle in a tiny corner of your heart, acknowledge it is there and the happiness it brought you. The good part is that if you know how to love deeply once, you can do it again. As someone said, don’t let the heart that didn’t love you keep you from the one that will.
Hey Saheli,
I have two brothers and they are doing much better than me. They have better lives, wives, jobs and even their children seem much smarter and more well-adjusted. Every day, I wake up feeling that I am a failure. Please help me.
Rafi
Hey Rafi,
You can only see envy, that’s why you are blind. Try counting your blessings instead of your brothers’ good fortune. Figure out areas in your life you can fix — for example, a better job and work towards getting that. Once you get busy trying to improve your life, you won’t have time to feed the always-hungry god of envy, who eats nothing but your heart. As for your wife and children not being as wonderful as you’d like them to be — grow up. Work towards being envied and stop being envious.