“Hope, Determination, and Courage; Are the sturdy boots; That will steer me forward; on this long and bemusing path,” Divyansh Atman wrote at some point in his 10-year arduous journey fighting leukaemia.
Divyansh passed on the same sturdy boots to his parents to help them come to terms with his death in 2019. He was only 22. A little over two years later, Nidhi and Sushil Poddar have put into words the indomitable and inspirational spirit of their son in their book “Blaze: A Son’s Trial by Fire”.
“The foundation of this book was laid even before Divyansh left us. While he was alive, I used to coax him to write something about himself as I was convinced the kind of life he had lived with indomitable spirit could be an inspiration for others,” homemaker turned author Nidhi told PTI in an email interaction.
Co-written by Nidhi and her husband Sushil, “Blaze” is an attempt to delineate Divyansh’s life journey and how their ‘parenthood’ evolved through the years.
Divyansh, a quiet and thoughtful boy, was 12 when he was diagnosed with leukaemia in 2009. Nidhi and Sushil spent the next 10 years in front of numerous doctors, down several hospital hallways, losing hope over his multiple relapses but eventually finding solace and strength in their son.
The book, written largely by Nidhi, chronicles Divyansh’s life from the moment he was born on January 27, 1997 to the time he was laid to rest on May 2, 2019.
Nidhi and Sushil have minutely noted Divyansh’s journey in the extensively detailed 325-page book spread across 26 chapters. They recollect their son’s teen years, punctuated by hospital visits, while he found friends in his teachers and doctors along the way.
Recalling the “turbulent phase” of their lives while writing the book only a few months after Divyansh’s passing was not easy, said Sushil, but revisiting those moments did offer them better understanding of their son.
The parents also recall how his courage helped them steer their way through their pain.
“We read his poems, blogs, letters, messages etc again by keeping them in their respective time frame when they were written by him but understanding them with a new found wisdom while authoring the book,” said Sushil, a senior government officer.
What started as intermittent infections, bouts of fever and severe weight loss towards the latter half of 2009 turned out to be only the precursor to a short and strained life that was full of energy at the same time.
Divyansh’s treatment and multiple relapses came with strong psychological impact on the Mumbai-based Poddar couple as they travelled across the length of the country and abroad to see their child hale and hearty.
“The pain always came with its brute force entrapping us in the viciousness of it. It always shook us to the core. But don’t know why, maybe because the way Divyansh used to handle his crises better, we always saw brighter days through the engulfing pain,” Nidhi said.
However, the husband-wife said, it was always Divyansh’s courage in the face of adversity that put them back on track.
His father said Divyansh always gave them “arsenal to handle the brute force of trauma”.
“He led us from the front in controlling excruciating times and in the process he would always lend us support, never forget, all the while he was in teens,” Sushil said.
As they travelled to Jerusalem and the US for Divyansh’s treatment, his five-year-younger sister Ananya remained home without making a fuss. Nidhi calls her the “silent collaborator” through their tough times.
“She would not create a fuss even when the situation warranted a complete neglect to her. She took everything in her stride and tried to do her best.”
Divyansh died on May 2, 2019, less than a year after coming from New Jersey, where he had taken admission to study electrical engineering at Fairleigh Dickinson University and to also undergo treatment.
Looking back on those 10 years, Nidhi and Sushil regret nothing, saying they "owe their breath" to the lessons they learnt while parenting him.
“Having written 'Blaze', I realise now the significance of universal design with which Divyansh blessed our lives. He did what he was destined to do. His 22 years of life had been so meaningful that from hereon I owe my each and every breath to the lessons we learnt while parenting him,” Sushil said.
The parents believe Divyansh trained his mind to control his body as he used to say, “I have a problem. I am not a problem. My body is diseased, I am not.”
“Blaze”, published by Rupa Publications, is available on online and offline stores for Rs 395.
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