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Grey divorce is becoming a catch phrase following rumours that Bollywood actors Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Abhishek Bachchan are headed for a split.
Grey divorce refers to legal separation of a couple in their 50s, after a long-term marriage.
Not just young couples but the elderly have also increasingly been seeking legal separation over the last five to 10 years, say city lawyers. A notable change is that the children of most older couples seeking a divorce are now “accepting (of such a decision) and encourage the duo to live happy individual lives rather than be miserable together”, advocates point out.
Young vs old couple
Advocate Kusum Ranganath whose practice comprises around 60% of family law cases, observes that in the last decade, cases of grey divorce have increased manifold. “Earlier, it was mostly younger couples, married for less than 5 years, who were seen heading for a divorce. Now the ratio is equal,” she says. Divorce among senior citizens has increased by 30 to 40% over the last five years, observes Kusum.
More women
A majority of the divorces are initiated by women. “Almost 75% of the grey divorce cases are filed by wives. They must have suffered much. And once the couple’s children are independent and working, they encourage their mother or bring her to the lawyer seeking a divorce,” Kusum notes.
Lawyer Bhojamma P, who practices at a firm in Vasanthnagar, agrees. “After tending to family duties, women are now confidently seeking a divorce and wanting to live a peaceful life,” she says.
Around 15 to 20 elderly couples have approached Bhojamma seeking a divorce in the last 5 years. She adds that during mediation, “often their issues get sorted and many of them get back to living together”.
Since 2015, advocate Ian Lewis too has noticed a similar trend. “Earlier, I would get around 1 to 2 cases per year, now it is 4 to 5 cases. I see both men and women file for divorce in their later years now,” he shares.
While many women seek alimony, a few “are even willing to let go of financial support as they just want to be free”, he says. “Even men, who have to look after children, are now more confident and prepared to take on household duties,” Ian adds.
Cordial process
Advocate Akanksha Natesan says divorces among older couples are “smoother and handled maturely”, as issues like custody and guardianship of children often don’t exist. “Finances would also have been discussed over time and most such marriages end with mutual consent,” she adds.
Advocate K M Sai Apabharana recently handled a case where a couple aged 65 and 70 were facing compatibility issues and wanted a divorce. “They had been married for a decade and didn’t see a reason to be together. They had no financial liabilities or young children. As there were no such constrictions, the divorce process was cordial,” she adds.