A long-lasting, happy marriage needs commitment, good communication and a fine dose of love and affection. Happily ever after is not merely a fairy tale. It’s, in fact, a choice, asserts Alvina Clara.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”- Mignon McLaughlin
Almost everybody gets married with enormous hopes of “livingly happily ever after”. However, most people fail to realise that love and happiness – aren’t they synonyms? - have to be maintained. A long-lasting marriage needs commitment, good communication and a fine dose of love and affection.
Every marriage is diverse, but the best marriages have some things in common: love, respect and joy. The institution is significant as the family is the elementary unit of society. Disintegration of marriages leads to shattering of emotions, inflicting scars on souls.
A married life based on a concretefoundation makes you enter a realm of everlasting bliss. So whatever it takes to make your marriage work, it’s worth practising it. As where there is reciprocal love, there is life. Happily ever after is not merely a fairy tale. It’s, in fact, a choice.
Here go a few marriage mantras for him and her:
Prove your point, with love
When your spouse is fuming or moody, maintain your calm. Avoid mundane discussions that would eventually lead to heated arguments. Put forth your views only when your partner’s mood betters. Never yell or shout, control your choice of words and refrain from degrading each other, even in dire situations. When people are upset, they tend to act on their emotions. To be successful in relationships, people sometimes need to behave differently from how they feel. Couples need to regulate their emotions so they don't “take it out” on each other. You prove your point, but with love. You can make your partner understand your side of the argument with affection at an appropriate time.
Put the spouse first
Empathy and understanding are the key requisites for a happy relationship. Always try to understand your spouse’s actions and reactions. Seek clarifications before coming to conclusions, which often lead to misunderstandings. Remember, what is naked to the human eye, only the heart can understand. Read between the lines and always put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. It pays.
Go to bed happy
A couple should never let the sun set on an argument as it perturbs sleep and eventually, the stress is carried forward to the next day. Before hitting the sack, make a conscious effort to resolve any conflicts that may have risen in the day. Go to the root cause and unmistakably speak why you behaved in a certain manner. Admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Apologise earnestly for having done something dim-witted or having spoken off track.
Let the past be
Digging the past makes the environment condescending and negative. Leave behind the past; address the present; focus on the future. Never allow mistakes of the past to re-surface. Always be supportive and affirmative towards future endeavours. Forget and forgive. Most importantly, move on.
Appreciate each other
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. Every person is unique with his own strong areas and weak spots. Ignore weaknesses and focus on the strengths of your spouses. Make it a point to compliment your spouse and always express gratitude when something is well done. Encourage each other and never find faults in public. If you must criticise something, do in the privacy of your home.
Spend time together
The world can wait. Spend time with each other, at least during weekends and don’t permit external disturbances. Do domestic chores together. Go for a holiday, share an exotic meal, watch a movie, shop together, and once in a while, go on a quixotic date. Share physically-intimate moments. Touch each other affectionately and exchange a lot of kisses and hugs. Expression of love also needs to be platonic at times.
Work on building trust
Trust is the prime factor in a relationship. If that goes astray, the entire relationship will rust in time. Always keep the channels of communication open to ensure that the trust stays intact. Communicate your thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants in a straightforward manner. Also, be a good listener. Allow your spouse to express his/her thoughts, feelings, needs and wants liberally.
Respect and value each other
Respect your spouse for the human being he/she is. Value each other’s space by giving enough freedom for pursuing one’s goals and dreams. When respect diminishes, the relationship suffocates and ultimately, dies due to asphyxiation. Cherish one another with pride.