Representative image of a marriage.
Credit: iStock
The generation that has lived for more than five decades is witness to two distinct ages: one before the 1990s and another after that. Life in small towns and villages has transformed. Social customs, especially marriages, have changed drastically. In those days, marriages in villages were more of a community affair than a personal one. They were far from showiness, gaudiness, or pretentiousness. All the villagers participated wholeheartedly.
I remember my uncle's marriage. Preparations were started more than a month in advance. From splitting the firewood for the halwai (chef) to winnowing the grain, men and women of the village congregated in our house. The festivities started as soon as the chef started the fire: instead of today's DJs, folk songs to the accompaniment of drums reverberated in sangeet ceremonies every day, and sweets were distributed to all villagers as a welcome gesture.
Relatives descended a week before the marriage. They were not only the guests of our family but of the whole village, as the villagers played host to our relatives. While the villagers catered to all our guests' needs, our guests too were accommodating. A festive atmosphere engulfed the whole village. A couple of days before the auspicious day, a religious function was organised in our house, the food for which was prepared and served by our neighbours with generous help from our kith and kin.
The baraat, or groom's family, on tractor trolleys proceeded from our village to the bride’s village, 20 km away, to the beats of a band. The baraat stayed in a school situated on the outskirts of the bride’s village. Tea was served there, and a few from the bride’s family welcomed the groom's party with the customary gifts and money. Breakfast was served in a tent erected next to the school. All except the bridegroom relished the sweets and snacks.
Soon it was time for the baarat to proceed towards the bride’s house, and the womenfolk began their ceremonies. Of course, the whole village of the bride was there to welcome us. There was great camaraderie and bonhomie among all present all through the rituals and events of the wedding.
The bride came after lunch to the place where the marriage ceremonies were to take place, covered from head to toe. While the priests got busy with rituals, the elderly men of the family busied themselves with playing cards and relishing hookahs! We children were out roaming and exploring the village, and by evening, everybody was back to helping the groom's party load the household articles and furniture given by the bride’s family in our tractor trolley to be taken back to our village.
Often, I become nostalgic while attending the marriages of modern times, which are becoming mere shows of wealth and status. The innocence and personal bonding I remember from the marriages I attended in my childhood seemed to be incidents of another era.