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Charmless against ChinaMidlife Musings
Indu Anand
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Indu Anand
Indu Anand

Hou Yanqi. Ring a bell? Is it a name? A place? An animal? A thing? It didn’t, for me. Till a few weeks ago, when I received a WhatsApp, embedded with a clip from a news channel. Hou Yanqi is a name, a woman’s name, and the woman so named is Ambassador of our current arch, but still unnamed, enemy, China, to our former bosom buddy, Nepal.

According to the official website of the Chinese Embassy in Nepal, Her Excellency boasts a pretty predictable curriculum vitae, typical to any officer of any country’s diplomatic corps. Born in 1970, Hou Yanqi is a Master of Arts, has had tenures in Pakistan and in the US. She is married, with one son. From the looks of it, the Ambassador seems to have at least the minimum credentials for the job and must have cleared some exam.

But for this WhatsApp warrior, none of this was of any consequence. He would have fumbled to name India’s Ambassador to China, or to Nepal, presumably both fine diplomats themselves. For sure, this man wasn’t wondering what their chess moves were. Instead, three things were preoccupying him: first, that Communist China had cosied up to ‘Hindu nation’ Nepal. Whilst this does deserve eye-popping eye-rolls, his emphasis on ‘Hindu’ disregarded the fact that Nepal changed its Constitution in September 2015 to redefine itself as a secular country, like we are supposed to be. But WhatsApp warriors have no trade in facts not cosily fitting in well with their choice of ‘narrative’. Second, Yanqi is conversant in Urdu, or shall we simply say ‘Muslim’. And the third and final nail in his ‘covfefe’ was the allegation that this servant of her State had utilised her feminine charms to place one or more public figures of a certain State up to no good and to harm India.

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For hours after reading this, I had severe symptoms of Covid-19. But my mouth tasted. It tasted metallic, of disgust and defeat. This was yet another reminder that when small men lose the plot, or big men entire territories, their first instinct is to find a woman to blot.

Unsurprisingly, some days later, a similar tweet, more cleverly worded, was broadcast by a major, pun intended, celebrity to his million-strong following. At last count, it has received 28,600 ‘likes.’

Having determined that Hou Yanqi is a woman, I replayed Name Place Animal Thing for these men, and no, they don’t fit any bill. They are apps, and while we are tripping over each other to uninstall those 59, these too should be banned. Even setting aside the fact that, in New India, the slander of ‘our own’ women, always centred around their sexuality, is a commonplace and shameless show of ‘pride’, these apps reached further, across the border, and higher than before. 14,000 ft high, and that much underground, dashing all hopes of the return of decency, or of territory.

Hou Yanqi is no hero for us in India, but it’s worth asking what is it that emboldens this kind of calumnious chatter from these ear-shatteringly loud hyper-nationalists. Surely, they know that their character assassination endangers ongoing diplomatic parlays, that this sort of fingering is different from reclaiming those Fingers near the Pangong Tso. My conjecture is that there is a deep jealousy operating amongst ‘our own men’ of women who are competent but unafraid to be feminine. From her social media profiles, Hou Yanqi is undoubtedly one of these. And there is a vast universe of men waiting eagerly to consume this kind of ‘info-taint-ment’, ready to forward this fake feel-good artillery fire.

And so, what if a professional patriot uses all the tricks in her tote? What charms do you have, Major, except for an endless supply of data, the permanent position of a high-decibel delusional debater, and faux camouflage? What charms are ‘our men’ turning on? Besides the kind that made Nepal turn off our TV channels. Do our men know that slander never won a war, unless of course it’s against the Tablighi Jamaat? Surveillance, strategy, and strength, not streanh, does.

Converting a two-front war into a four-front one, one against women, is not the work of heroes but hormonal hashtag zeroes.

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(Published 18 July 2020, 23:57 IST)