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Pain is an experience that is common to all of us and recognises no age. We have heard it said that pain shared is pain halved but we are also encouraged to think that the truly heroic keep it to themselves. They
grin and bear it and thus avoid troubling others.
Which of these two assertions is closer to the truth? Today’s evidence clearly points out that it is best not to be secretive about pain, for this is what proves beneficial.
There are two kinds of pain – the physical one and the emotional one. Suppression of either can reach dangerous levels. We all know of people who ignore pain as long as possible and then seek help.
Often though, the results of tolerance are devastating. They are long past the point of recovery and this proves damaging to the sufferer as well as his loved ones. Openness, on the other hand, leads to helpful advice and quick recovery. We see that physical pain has a valid, positive point. It tells us what to do and what not to do. It is indeed a wonderful, automatic alarm system.
Emotional pain is harder to bear but operates on the same lines. It is a warning to change one’s way of thinking.
When hurt or let down by someone, the message to heed is, ‘Love those in your Life without any expectations. Do not judge them’. Also, ‘Don’t let their actions take away your self-esteem’.
Pain causes us to change direction. It makes us look at things differently. At this stage, therapists can prove to be great help. They are trained to be good listeners and can offer great guidance. However, not everyone can afford to consult a therapist. In such a case, friends and family who care and know you prove to be the best listeners of all.
Many turn inward when in pain. They do not want to bare their soul to someone else. But talking things out is invaluable. Innate in this exercise is the sympathy and kindness of the listener. It triggers feelings of understanding and forgiveness in the victim. It loosens and lightens his heart and spirits. What is more, his pain becomes less and he feels spiritually rejuvenated!