Language, the principal medium of interpersonal communication, has two variants: spoken and written. As childre, we assimilate ‘speaking’ before we learn to write. We engage in communication mainly through either speaking or writing while symbols and gestures are also used occasionally. Face to face conversation is held through the speaking mode. Communication in written mode is enabled by emails, letters, text messages, social media etc.
Face to face spoken communication is a combination of three components: visual, vocal and verbal. In the spoken mode, visual and vocal components supersede the verbal. The expressions on your face while you are speaking and the tone of your voice convey the hidden meaning, often more than the literal meaning of the spoken words. Despite our best efforts, it’s almost impossible to disguise our facial expressions or to suppress vocal pitch, while we are speaking. Even if we are careful with words while speaking, the visual and vocal part of the communication betray our raw emotions.
On the other hand, written form of language is purely verbal and is free from visual and vocal vulnerabilities. And we have time to think and re-think, to choose appropriate vocabulary. When we are angry, we shout. When we are in love, we write poetry.
Underscoring the disadvantages of spoken form over the written form is not intended to belittle the former. Listening to an eloquent speech is a delight. Sweet words are uttered in romantic tête-à-tête. But it is in the day-to-day conversations -- between spouses, colleagues, acquaintances and even strangers -- that the test of spoken language lies. Words, especially spoken words, can become lethal weapons when spoken with hate and anger. We should speak in the manner in which we write, by being careful about the vocabulary, thinking and re-thinking before we speak, and choosing words carefully, particularly when our emotions are volatile. Frown and glare are unspoken words which hurt both the sides. Smile and glow on the other hand spread cheer. Pause and ponder before blurting out words.
We should apply attributes of writing – neutrality in vocal and visual nuances - while speaking under challenging circumstances.