“What are you thinking about Mina?” asked my husband, seeing me lost in thought.
“Am reflecting on floors,” I replied.
My husband seemed floored for a moment, then quickly recovering, he said: “Oh, you mean the political story that’s all over the news; the Maharashtra Floor Test that never was!”
“Yes, that’s an interesting, crooked tale!”
“True,” I replied. “But my thoughts are nearer home; about the new flooring, for our house. It’s very important that we get the correct surface. It’s a matter of life and death.”
“Life and death - how so?”
“It’s obvious, isn’t it? Non-slippery floors - which one can tread on, safely. The problem is, how does one test the floor, while selecting?”
“That’s simple – just walk across and check it out.”
“That’s the rub. You and I are senior citizens. We can’t take chances, pacing any untested tiles.”
“I have an idea – why not call up these politicians? They are great at crossing floors. They’ll have no hesitation in coming over to help.”
“That’s brilliant, Anand. Yes, we need slippery characters to test the ground. Our netas are simply outstanding in that respect. What’s more, they have no issues in moving quickly, and changing sides - to achieve the purpose.”
“Indeed – they never seem embarrassed in any way, with their chameleon-like movements. One may say they don’t ever sink through the floor.”
“There’s a big snag though,” I said. “What’s that?” asked my husband.
“How do we induce these party men to come over and test our floor? I hear they demand huge sums, for these skilful manoeuvres. Not to mention five-star accommodations; a constant flow of Cordon Bleu food, and classy beverages; to get them through their labours.”
“Gosh – that’s a problem indeed. Wait, let me think…Got it! Why don’t’ we tempt them with a pretext of ideology? Say that we are fully ‘Hindutva’ in our thinking, and rope them in that way?”
“You think on your feet, Anand. Yes, that ploy may well work. Though it goes against the grain, to even pretend that we are ‘Hindutva’.”
“Then, why don’t we play the ED card?”
ED? Economic Development’? ‘Engineering Department’?
No – the “Enforcement Directorate. Let’s just tell them that we are from the ‘ED’; without explaining what it stands for. Just watch – they’ll come running!”
“Hilarious, Anand; yes, they’ll come rushing. And they can take the floor, from then on!”