The pandemic came unannounced and is holding us by the scruff, making us acutely aware of things we did not pay heed to. Wading through uncharted territory, we have been forcibly slowed down to look keenly around us and experience everything deeply.
At the end of another day which looked pretty much like all the other days of the past year, the one thought that came to me was how we are going through the 'Navarasas', or nine emotions, almost on a daily basis and how almost everything has been brought to fore, all guns blazing.
There are days I wake up feeling nothing but absolute and pure Love for family and friends and just being thankful for their presence in my life, without whom I wouldn't exist as I am today. I try and express my love and gratitude more than ever to make sure they know and know it well.
They bring in happy moments, conversations, Laughter and joy. Family and friends listen to you whine about having no one to help with household chores, being a nomad in your own house since all the habitable spaces are 'occupied' for working from home and online classes.
There are days when I wake up in Anger at the strange circumstances, seeing my daughter spend her precious childhood indoors with no playdates or park time. There is anger at not being able to visit ageing parents and care for them. There is anger at having to give up on simple pleasures like having little celebrations (Zoom call celebrations really are not the same!).
At the same time, there is Compassion for those less fortunate, who have lost loved ones and livelihoods. Compassion for Covid warriors who are no less than legends. Their Courage in serving humanity is selfless. We seek the courage to go about each day normally if only to maintain our sanity and not pass on the fear to our children. For Fear is in abundance, all you need to do is look around you.
Sadly, Disgust is felt too in some measure at callous behaviours of the public who go about without masks or do not pay heed to social distancing norms!
Through all this, we have been surprised by several things, we watched in Wonder how nature started healing itself as humans locked themselves inside, we saw the world adapt to working from home, online classes, everyone chipping in with household chores, and learnt to focus on health with utmost priority.
Most importantly, there are fleeting moments when I feel an overwhelming sense of Peace, knowing that family and friends are doing ok. A sense of peace emanates from gratitude — gratitude for the food on the table, shelter over our heads and good health.
And the daily battle is ON to try and hold on to this elusive 'rasa' for as long as I can.