Do you lack the ability to communicate well, even though you try your best to do so? Well, this could be for a variety of reasons. While some people are shy, there are others who are introverts. Then there are some who just don’t know what to say and many others come across as all of the above. Bengalureans share some ways that can help one in having better interactions with people.
The fear of meeting new people, more often than not, drives shy people to avoid socialising altogether. This is not a very good way of handling the problem. Anushka, a student of Mount Carmel College, says, “I used to be very shy until I realised I had nothing to be insecure about.” Shyness could stem from insecurity or being self-conscious and the more one focusses on it, the more detrimental it becomes.
“Try to focus on your positive traits instead of worrying about the negative ones. Everyone has a bad side to them, its natural. Love yourself and don’t care about the opinion of others. Just because someone says something, it doesn’t mean that they are right,” says Shreyas J, a student of Christ University.
Noone is perfect and if others can be confident despite this, so can you! Instead of keeping to yourself, get off your seat and start a conversation with the person closest to you. “It’s okay if the person responds harshly or abruptly as that’s just a reflection of the person they are, or maybe they’re just having a bad day! But you should be happy that you made the effort to talk,” adds Shreyas.
While some are just shy, others are naturally unable to converse. Social introversion is surely something that one can change. This introversion can sometimes stem from lack of exposure, depression and other factors. “Great company is the key! Try to mix with people that can show you the fun things in life. Take a day off, forget about everything else, spend time with a lively person and you’ll find yourself feeling much better,” says Josanto, a mechanical engineering student.
“Spend time with someone you trust and enjoy the company of and eventually have them introduce you to like-minded people. You may like music or a sport, find things in common and talk about that for a start,” adds Sheldon D’sa, an HR professional.
Not finding the right words can also be frustrating. The first thing to do is to calm down and allow yourself to think. Sirisha Alvandar, another student, advises, “You don’t have to start a conversation with something complicated. Exchange pleasantries, talk about things like the weather or traffic just to begin and then slowly take it from there.” “I have a friend who could not speak clearly at all. I made her record her speech and listen to it. From that day onwards, she started working on her pronunciations,” says Roshni. She adds that miscommunication can be irksome for the speaker as well as the listener. However, the important thing is to realise that one has a problem and that it is not hard to change.
If you’re a person who merely comes across as any of the above, then try to become more approachable. Pay a genuine compliment or go out of your way to help someone. “The best thing to do is to just give someone a warm smile and gradually, you’ll find yourself surrounded by people you like,” suggests Shreyas.