A woman of substance

Soon after my engagement in 1997, two of my friends planned to visit my would-be in-laws in the pretext of some survey, but the motive was to discreetly scan the house and assess the atmosphere of the home I would join in the near future. My mother-in-law, however, with her sharp intuition, quickly sensed the true purpose behind the visit. She was aware that every glance, every question, was part of a subtle evaluation. Yet she played along with grace, understanding the concern my friends had for me. Upon returning, they summarised their visit with, “Aunty is incredibly sharp. You are too innocent to handle her.’’

With the notion that a mother-in-law is someone to be either feared or revered, I was unsure of how to react when I first met her. But from day one, she welcomed me with open arms, evolving from a mere relative into a trusted confidante, mentor, and cherished friend. She was a woman of remarkable insight and generosity whose wisdom, love, and strength shaped my life in profound ways. She nurtured me like her own.

We had our moments of conflict too, but always resolved them with mutual understanding and love.

After battling a long illness, our 25-year bond came to an end with her passing this year, which has left a void in my life. She faced her illness with the same strength and courage that defined her entire life—a woman of true grit and substance. Despite the resistance she faced from her conservative family, she not only completed her studies but also made a career in teaching. Retiring as headmistress, she guided and shaped the careers of so many youngsters. She faced the numerous challenges life threw at her with remarkable strength, grace, and dignity. A tragic accident in her childhood severely damaged her right hand. She refused to let this setback weaken her spirit, even winning a local handwriting competition.

She was a woman of many talents. Whether in the kitchen, working with fabric, or on paper, everything she touched was infused with her unique blend of skill and care.

She often reminded those around her, “Always save something for rainy days,” showing her vision to face life’s uncertainties. “Never use your basic amount; instead multiply its interest,” she would say, cautioning against depleting the essentials that sustain you.

No matter how small the task or how daunting the challenge, she was always there for us. Her belief in me never wavered, whether I succeeded or stumbled. The bond she shared with her grandchildren was perhaps the purest connection built on unconditional love, patience, and countless moments of joy. She was their storyteller, their confidante, and their biggest cheerleader. Her deep sense of religious discipline has guided and inspired them thoroughly.

Though she is no longer here, her spirit lives on in the countless memories and lessons she left behind.