Recently, as part of an SUPW (Socially Useful Productive Work) project at school, several students displayed their artistic creations. I was particularly impressed by a beautiful pink rose, with intricate petals, expertly crocheted by Amira. Since I had a few unused skeins of wool, I gave them to her, certain that she would work wonders with them.
After our English class the following day, Amira greeted me with a pencil box, sheathed in a neatly knitted case in shades of purple. I was touched by her thoughtful gesture, especially since it was completely unexpected. As I admired Amira’s craftsmanship, I travelled back in time to my childhood, when return gifts came as no surprise and were eagerly awaited.
Those trifling takeaways at parties were hardly extraordinary, but I savoured the delightful knowledge that a little packet awaited me after the festivities. Besides, I felt that it was only right to receive something in exchange for the toy or board game that I had presented to the birthday baby.
Six decades later, I ought to have outgrown the business of giving in the hope of getting. I cannot honestly say, however, that when I lend a helping hand I want nothing back. I may not look forward greedily to a reciprocal offering, but I’m sure I speak for the majority of mankind when I say that I take a simple ‘Thank you’ for granted.
Of course, as we all know, merely taking something for granted does not mean that it will be served to us on a platter. In fact, the reverse tends to be true. It is often our beneficiaries who accept favours as their due, conveniently forgetting the assistance we have rendered.
Continuing with examples from my long teaching career, I have done a lot more for many students than parting with neglected wool, but have not always met with words of appreciation, much less gratitude in a tangible form.
I tell myself that I should strive to reach a stage in life when I cease to anticipate even the slightest recognition of my good deeds. According to American aviator and writer, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, ‘To give without any reward or any notice has a special quality of its own.’