In all fairness, stop body shaming

Recently, a veteran Mohiniattam artist, Kalamandalam Satyabhama, made disparaging remarks about another veteran male artist’s skin colour and physical appearance. She wanted to say that Mohiniattam should be performed by ‘beautiful, fair-skinned female artists’ and not black-skinned male artists. This comment was uncalled for, particularly coming from an artist of great repute. This incident has brought the focus back on our inveterate tendency to indulge in body shaming, which seems to have struck deep roots in our society. 

In the movie Bala (2019), Ayushmann Khurrana’s character is a balding man in his late twenties who struggles with his premature baldness. He is a fairness cream salesman by day and a nightclub comic by night. However, despite his efforts, people continue to make fun of his appearance. He exhausts all possible methods to regrow his hair, but to no avail. Even his wife, unaware of his baldness due to his wig, ultimately leaves the marriage in sheer disgust. Eventually, Bala comes to terms with his baldness, symbolised by his decision to discard the wig and embrace a life free from the constraints of societal beauty standards and perfection.

By making looks the focus of sociability, we are slowly destroying the core of our inner lives, which nourish our creative spirit and a sense of well-being. In order to conform to social pressures, we have lost touch with our true selves. Why are we obsessed with appearances? After all, beauty is only skin-deep. One should not judge an individual by the way he or she looks. When somebody points out flaws in our physical appearances, we suddenly get self-conscious and start wallowing in self-pity, as if life is not worth living if we are not physically attractive. There are certain things in our lives that are not in our hands.

Advertisements for cosmetics reinforce the notion that a fairer skin is needed to land a job, while many food item ads remind us how crucial it is to lose fat in order to look attractive at a party.

Both men and women experience body shaming. Boys are often pressured to embody physical perfection through height and muscularity, while girls are expected to maintain thinness and flawless skin, devoid of acne and body hair. However, it is natural for individuals not to fit into these narrow ideals of perfection, as nobody is born perfect in this world. Despite this reality, they are continually advised to enhance their appearance.

A few years ago, a TV ad showed an overweight girl putting herself through the emotional wringer before the groom’s family in connection with a marriage proposal. She is rejected for her physical imperfections. The message is that in our society, a girl has to be slim, fair-skinned, and physically attractive in order to be eligible for marriage. This blatant stereotyping of female beauty refuses to fade, no matter how modern and liberal-minded we may call ourselves. There is no denying that women in our society face pressure to conform to beauty standards in order to be considered eligible for marriage. 

Matrimonial columns often feature descriptions of prospective brides and grooms, often emphasising their physical attributes. Women are commonly described as slim and beautiful, while men are frequently portrayed as fair, tall, and handsome. These descriptions mirror societal norms and expectations surrounding physical appearance within the context of marriage alliances. It is evident that the emphasis placed on outward beauty and skin color, both for men and women, has reached alarming levels within our society. Despite its superficial nature, this trend has become pervasive, with individuals often being evaluated primarily based on their appearance. Regrettably, instances of misogyny further exacerbate this issue, as seen in the case of a prominent politician who made derogatory remarks directed at President Draupadi Murmu.

Parents, as a rule, must teach their children not to make fun of others for their physical peculiarities. They should be told that physical or outward beauty is not as important as inner beauty. A decade ago, actor Ranbir Kapoor refused to endorse a fairness cream brand because he felt that endorsing such a product would amount to encouraging racist stereotypes in society.

We tend to put a premium on things that are evanescent. Author Umberto Eco once said, “Nothing is more fleeting than the external form, which withers and alters like the flowers of the field at the appearance of autumn.” It is time we changed our mindsets.

(The writer is a Delhi-based journalist)