Restoring ruptured relationships

When four-year-old Ariel was visiting the Hecht Museum, in Haifa, Israel with his parents, he was fascinated by a jar at the entrance. According to his mother, the little boy was ‘curious about what was inside’ and ‘pulled the jar slightly’. The priceless piece of pottery, dating back 3,500 years, toppled over and shattered into pieces.

The story, however, does not end there. Shortly after the incident, Ariel was invited to the museum, where he was greeted warmly. Director Inbal Rivlin showed the child how the jar was being repaired. She even allowed him to participate (in his own small way) in the restoration process of various other items. Ariel’s father, who had feared he might have to pay an enormous sum of money as penalty for the damage caused by his son, was delighted to learn that Ariel would always be welcome at the museum. 

A newspaper report describing the aftermath of the mishap, when Ariel returned to the museum, reads thus: ‘Ariel was met with forgiving staff and curators.’ The key word is ‘forgiving’. What if cracks begin to appear soon after the jar is fixed? Can anything be done to conceal them? Such concerns are irrelevant, as they do not seem to matter to those in charge of the ancient artefact. 

I am reminded of these lines that a classmate wrote long ago in my autograph book: ‘Friendship’s like a china dish, costly rich and rare;/ Once broken can be mended, but the crack is always there.’ There is no escaping cracks in the ruptured relationships that plague our lives, but they are only significant if we choose to give them importance. Cracks can be relegated to the back burner once we are ready for reconciliation.

Through the ages, remarkable individuals, who were greatly wronged, have willingly — in the words of a beautiful hymn — ‘offered pardon and peace’ to their offenders. Of course, since we are human, forgiving is not necessarily synonymous with forgetting. We need not be too hard on ourselves if we recall past wounds, as long as we do not dwell on them to the exclusion of all else. Those cracks may occasionally surface in our memories, but they need not prevent us from imparting and imbibing healing and wholeness.