The recent demise of a young CA professional due to work pressure sent shockwaves throughout India. The shock was not primarily because of the nature of the death; rather, a death of this nature has now become the by-product of a “callous” society that is at a crossroads with itself.
Any aspiring parent of a young teenager must already be thinking hard about how his child can clear the board exams and crack competitive exams. However, the many student suicides the parent hears about almost every alternate day due to poor scores in those exams.
The same pressurising parent knows that merely admitting his child into an IIT or IIM does not guarantee his child’s recruitment by a Fortune 500 company. Many students end their lives while studying in premier educational institutes, as they are never satisfied with the levels of excellence. And if you thought this vicious cycle of a parent’s desire attained its moksha over here, you are wrong.
Parents’ desire: A vicious cycle
The young teenager of that ever-aspiring parent, who has somehow survived the pressures of the competitive exams and gruelling college education, is now staring at a computer screen 14-16 hours a day in a re-pressurised (read as air-conditioned) office cabin.
This is despite the many professional suicides and burnout stories the young employee hears almost every other week, which are due to work pressure or, in other words, chasing unrealistic dreams and deadlines. And while he slogs, his aspiring parents are gloating about their son’s dream job.
Sadly, this vicious loop only completes its first lap when this teenager — now a grown-up “emaciated” adult — finally, albeit reluctantly, marries and bears a child. But then, even before his child could crawl or stand on its two feet, this young parent is already scouting for the best school in town to go the extra mile to meet his unrealistic dreams and deadlines. While this young child’s proud but now weary grandfather looks at his grandchild and reminisces about his life, he is simultaneously wondering what really went wrong.
When the world goes wrong
Before we accuse the manager of that young CA professional, let us pause and take stock of things around us. Is my manager responsible for creating a stressful work environment? Or is it the toxic work culture enabled by the company management that creates “monstrous” managers like that in the first place?
Even better is to ask, “Why am I putting up with a boss or a debilitating work culture like this?” “Are the promotions and perks my job offers worth sacrificing my mental health and family life?” “Is life all about earning quick money and dying young, or leaving a legacy where we, our employees, and our children thrive and enjoy life?”
There is only a certain load a human body and mind can take. While psychologists call this the breaking point, medical doctors call this an emergency. Unfortunately, this point is often so blurry that life or legacy is snuffed out so early at a moment’s notice – just like this CA professional who died tragically of cardiac arrest just four months into her dream job.
So unless we, as a society, from the father to the son, management to the employee, and producer to the consumer, take collective responsibility, we are going to perpetuate this vicious cycle of deaths forever. Unless we prioritise our mental health over our material wealth, we will not be left with any rich legacy to pass on to our children or grand stories to entertain our grandkids.
(The author is a psychotherapist and family counsellor based in Chennai)