Bengaluru: Ashwini Ponnappa has been in news for all the wrong reasons in the last couple of weeks and all of it isn't her making. For someone, who generally maintains a low profile, the online vitriol has been too much to handle.
“This is the first time I have had such a backlash on social media where most people are going, ‘Oh, hang up your boots. You’re done. You haven’t really achieved anything’,” Ashwini tells DH.
“I am someone who tends to be extremely hard on myself by nature -- because I have been taught to take responsibility for my actions and not really pass the blame -- it is very hard to digest such comments."
How did the three-time Olympian became the news herself instead of the news about her?
First, she was constantly trolled on social media where questions were raised about her performance at the Paris Olympics. Then her reaction to Prakash Padukone’s statement about ‘players needing to take responsibility’ during the course of the Olympics came to the fore. Third, it was her clarification on whether or not she received financial support from the government as stated in an article that made headlines on Tuesday.
The biggest blow among all, according to the 34-year-old doubles specialist, was the online barrage demanding her retirement.
On Tuesday, there was more fuel added to fire when an article claimed that the Bengaluru shuttler had received Rs 1.5 crore as funding by the government during the Paris cycle.
Ashwini put out a tweet calling out the information in the article. According to the three-time Olympian, she wasn’t part of the TOPS (Target Olympic Podium Scheme) when she forged a new partnership with Tanisha Crasto and was included again only after the pair booked a Paris berth about four months prior to the Games.
“In that article, it was claimed that I received Rs 1.5 crore. It was very misleading because there has been no money that has come into my account nor have I asked for any. Such misinformation has led people to question my commitment towards badminton.
“I have, however, been supported by the (sports) ministry, the association (BAI) and TOPS in the past (while partnering Sikki Reddy) because I was India’s No.1 woman's doubles player and part of the Indian team for a very long time. But I haven’t received the kind of money the article claims during the Paris cycle. That money was spent on everyone in the national camp for food, training, shuttles etc and that comes through the association and players are unaware of it. It's not that it was given to me separately.”
On its part, a source in Sports Authority of India (SAI), also confirmed that the Rs 1.5 cr through Annual Calendar for Training and Competition (ACTC) was indeed given to BAI and not a particular individual.
Speaking about the online criticism after her disagreement with Padukone's assessment of players after Lakshya Sen’s loss in the bronze-medal contest in Paris, Ashwini tried to clear the air, saying she was only trying put forth that Padukone's displeasure of his wards' efforts could have been a closed-door affair rather than a public one.
“I have a lot of respect for Prakash sir. Who am I to bash a legend of our sport according to all the headlines that are being circulated online?
"As a player who has trained in his academy, I was merely upset, in that moment, that a coach said that soon after a loss. Because for me coaches and players need to work together. Once you go back the players getting ripped apart by the coach is normal for all of us. Again, everyone blew this episode out of proportion.”
Going back to her performance at Paris, Ashwini termed her outing as disappointing. To make amends in a tough draw with the World No. 3 and 7 was always going to be an uphill task for a pair that was the lesser experienced team on court.
“Yes, we were pretty nervous. That’s what a stage like the Olympics does to you. My disappointment was that me and Tanisha could have played a bit better and maybe had a bit more fun on court because that would have helped us loosen up a bit and play freely,” she offered.
Returning home with three straight losses in the group stage wasn't ideal, she realises, especially when the road ahead seems uncertain. But Ashwini is not ready to let go of badminton just yet.
“I still believe I have some badminton still left in me, contrary to social media talks that I have to retire and make way for the youngsters. They have all the freedom to contend and contest and do everything to get to the top. Me stopping or not stopping wouldn’t make a difference to them or their careers.
“Having said that, I will decide on my future career after a few weeks,” signed off the Kodava girl.