<p>India's premier off-spinner R Ashwin has revealed that he felt like he was being "thrown under the bus" after a remark by former head coach Ravi Shastri left him "crushed" during a torrid phase in his career when he contemplated retirement multiple times.</p>.<p>In an interview with <em>ESPNcricinfo</em>, Ashwin was asked how he felt when then coach Shastri anointed Kuldeep Yadav as India's No. 1 spinner overseas after he had taken a five-for in the 2019 Sydney Test against Australia.</p>.<p>Ashwin said he was genuinely happy for Kuldeep as he knew how difficult it is to take five wickets as a spinner in Australia but Shastri's remarks left him "absolutely crushed".</p>.<p>"I hold Ravi bhai in high esteem. We all do. And I understand we all can say things and then retract them. In that moment, though, I felt crushed. Absolutely crushed," Ashwin said.</p>.<p><strong>Also Read | <a href="https://www.deccanherald.com/sports/cricket/thought-career-was-at-crossroads-last-year-didnt-know-if-i-would-be-in-test-team-ashwin-1056101.html" target="_blank">Thought career was at crossroads last year, didn't know if I would be in Test team: Ashwin</a></strong></p>.<p>"We all talk about how important it is to enjoy your team-mates' success. And I was happy for Kuldeep. I have not been able to get a five-for but he has a five-for in Australia. I know how big it is. Even when I have bowled well (at other times), I haven't ended up with a five-for. So I am genuinely happy for him. And it's an extremely happy occasion, to win in Australia.</p>.<p>"But if I have to come and partake in his happiness, and the success of the team, I must feel like I belong there. If I feel like I am being thrown under the bus, how am I supposed to get up and come for a party to enjoy the team's or team-mate's success?"</p>.<p>Ashwin, however, still made it to the celebration party that was organised following the Indian's team's historic series triumph Down Under.</p>.<p>"I went back to my room and then I spoke to my wife. And my children were there. So we were able to, you know, shrug it off, and I still made it to the party, because, end of the day, we had won a massive series."</p>.<p>The 35-year-old said that recurring injuries meant that he was playing under "excruciating pain" when he took three wickets in each innings to lead India to victory in the first Test.</p>.<p>Shastri's remark was quite too much for Ashwin after he played a role in the team's win in the series opener.</p>.<p>"The first Test seemed like a distant memory by then. I had taken three of the first four wickets in the first innings after we were bowled out cheaply, and then when it got really flat in the final innings, I plugged away for 50-plus overs and took three wickets despite what turned out to be a grade three abdomen tear.</p>.<p>"In my mind, I had done something great for the team in excruciating pain, but all I heard was, "Nathan Lyon took six, Ashwin took three".</p>.<p>"As it is, I was frustrated with my body for letting me down when I was in really good bowling form. The last thing I needed was these comparisons and insinuations. Between that reaction and Sydney, it didn't feel like I had played any part at all," Ashwin said.</p>.<p>Ashwin has been a great asset for India in both home and away conditions in the longer format of the game.</p>.<p>The spinner has so far taken 427 Test wickets, making him the third-highest wicket-taker from the country after Anil Kumble and Kapil Dev in the red-ball format.</p>.<p>But there was a phase between 2018 to 2020 when he almost quit playing.</p>.<p>"Between 2018 and 2020, I contemplated giving up the sport at various points. I thought, 'I have put in a lot of effort, but it is not coming through.'</p>.<p>"The harder I tried, the farther it felt. Especially with athletic pubalgia and the patellar tendonitis - I used to bowl six balls and then I used to be gasping for breath. And there would be pain all over the place.</p>.<p>"So you needed to make adjustments. When the knee pain got excruciating, the next ball I would probably jump less. When I jumped less, obviously the force needs to be produced through the core and the back and the shoulders, so the pubalgia (a chronic groin lesion) would act up.</p>.<p>"So the third ball I would be extra side-on to try to use the hips. By the time I was done with six balls, I would be like, 'I need a break here'," Ashwin recalled.</p>.<p>He also said that an injury breakdown in overseas assignments is often sneered at by the game's observers, an attitude that reflects the lack of empathy in cricketing community.</p>.<p>"Only when it hits them personally do they have the empathy. Empathy is being able to put yourself in others' shoes, and feel, 'Hey what if it happens to me?' I feel as a cricketing community, we lack that," he lamented.</p>.<p><strong>Check out latest DH videos here</strong></p>
<p>India's premier off-spinner R Ashwin has revealed that he felt like he was being "thrown under the bus" after a remark by former head coach Ravi Shastri left him "crushed" during a torrid phase in his career when he contemplated retirement multiple times.</p>.<p>In an interview with <em>ESPNcricinfo</em>, Ashwin was asked how he felt when then coach Shastri anointed Kuldeep Yadav as India's No. 1 spinner overseas after he had taken a five-for in the 2019 Sydney Test against Australia.</p>.<p>Ashwin said he was genuinely happy for Kuldeep as he knew how difficult it is to take five wickets as a spinner in Australia but Shastri's remarks left him "absolutely crushed".</p>.<p>"I hold Ravi bhai in high esteem. We all do. And I understand we all can say things and then retract them. In that moment, though, I felt crushed. Absolutely crushed," Ashwin said.</p>.<p><strong>Also Read | <a href="https://www.deccanherald.com/sports/cricket/thought-career-was-at-crossroads-last-year-didnt-know-if-i-would-be-in-test-team-ashwin-1056101.html" target="_blank">Thought career was at crossroads last year, didn't know if I would be in Test team: Ashwin</a></strong></p>.<p>"We all talk about how important it is to enjoy your team-mates' success. And I was happy for Kuldeep. I have not been able to get a five-for but he has a five-for in Australia. I know how big it is. Even when I have bowled well (at other times), I haven't ended up with a five-for. So I am genuinely happy for him. And it's an extremely happy occasion, to win in Australia.</p>.<p>"But if I have to come and partake in his happiness, and the success of the team, I must feel like I belong there. If I feel like I am being thrown under the bus, how am I supposed to get up and come for a party to enjoy the team's or team-mate's success?"</p>.<p>Ashwin, however, still made it to the celebration party that was organised following the Indian's team's historic series triumph Down Under.</p>.<p>"I went back to my room and then I spoke to my wife. And my children were there. So we were able to, you know, shrug it off, and I still made it to the party, because, end of the day, we had won a massive series."</p>.<p>The 35-year-old said that recurring injuries meant that he was playing under "excruciating pain" when he took three wickets in each innings to lead India to victory in the first Test.</p>.<p>Shastri's remark was quite too much for Ashwin after he played a role in the team's win in the series opener.</p>.<p>"The first Test seemed like a distant memory by then. I had taken three of the first four wickets in the first innings after we were bowled out cheaply, and then when it got really flat in the final innings, I plugged away for 50-plus overs and took three wickets despite what turned out to be a grade three abdomen tear.</p>.<p>"In my mind, I had done something great for the team in excruciating pain, but all I heard was, "Nathan Lyon took six, Ashwin took three".</p>.<p>"As it is, I was frustrated with my body for letting me down when I was in really good bowling form. The last thing I needed was these comparisons and insinuations. Between that reaction and Sydney, it didn't feel like I had played any part at all," Ashwin said.</p>.<p>Ashwin has been a great asset for India in both home and away conditions in the longer format of the game.</p>.<p>The spinner has so far taken 427 Test wickets, making him the third-highest wicket-taker from the country after Anil Kumble and Kapil Dev in the red-ball format.</p>.<p>But there was a phase between 2018 to 2020 when he almost quit playing.</p>.<p>"Between 2018 and 2020, I contemplated giving up the sport at various points. I thought, 'I have put in a lot of effort, but it is not coming through.'</p>.<p>"The harder I tried, the farther it felt. Especially with athletic pubalgia and the patellar tendonitis - I used to bowl six balls and then I used to be gasping for breath. And there would be pain all over the place.</p>.<p>"So you needed to make adjustments. When the knee pain got excruciating, the next ball I would probably jump less. When I jumped less, obviously the force needs to be produced through the core and the back and the shoulders, so the pubalgia (a chronic groin lesion) would act up.</p>.<p>"So the third ball I would be extra side-on to try to use the hips. By the time I was done with six balls, I would be like, 'I need a break here'," Ashwin recalled.</p>.<p>He also said that an injury breakdown in overseas assignments is often sneered at by the game's observers, an attitude that reflects the lack of empathy in cricketing community.</p>.<p>"Only when it hits them personally do they have the empathy. Empathy is being able to put yourself in others' shoes, and feel, 'Hey what if it happens to me?' I feel as a cricketing community, we lack that," he lamented.</p>.<p><strong>Check out latest DH videos here</strong></p>